From the Inbox: These are select letters I’ve sent to my email list — shared here as a slow-growing archive of thoughts, seasons, and transitions. If you would like to receive all future letters, join here.

Hello friend,

I'm reflecting today on the magic of putting things on pause – on giving ourselves a moment to make a decision before catapulting in any direction, usually under some kind of chaotic episode. Speaking personally, of course.

When I needed a break from Portland, OR this summer, I put my stuff in storage. I didn't sell it or try to move it all back, I simply gave myself the space (literally) I needed to pursue something else for a bit without too many financial implications.

Around that same time I decided that although I really really really love my Marigold Jupiter Moon brand and the shopify website I tirelessly built from the ground up on my own, it wasn't profitable and it was costing me $40 a month that felt like a waste of money. I discovered that shopify offered an option for $9 a month to pause your account, which is what I did in an effort to not lose all my progress.

I also recently took that same concept and applied it over on etsy, deactivating every single item in my shop, even the ones that don't require me to lift a finger because they're print on demand. I simply decided that I was tired of the designs, tired of the space, tired of having to sometimes communicate with shoppers during the holiday season who wanted production updates. (it really was only one person and she was actually lovely and we had a great convo and she was very happy, but I simply didn't want to engage anymore).

None of these were specifically intentional thoughts at the time but since then it's become more intentional –

When Nila was sick it was a Saturday around 4:00 and I knew everything would be closed until Monday, I almost brought her in right there and then to the urgent care to say goodbye. But I realized that urge was coming from a place of fear and not from a place of making a calm decision. I could feel it in my gut, I felt stressed and sick and not one ounce of peace about the situation. It felt spirally and chaotic. Very panicked. I was afraid that she would take a terrible turn and I'd be without options but I decided to trust that she was going to be okay until Monday. It was hard, it was still uncertain, but I told myself if something happened, I would find the support I needed at that time (seemingly out of thin air, but luckily that didn't happen). Because I paused I was able to have a few more days with her in a way that felt peaceful instead of agonizing and stressful. That's truly all I wanted for her.

The beautiful thing in all of these pauses is that I was able to make decisions and move forward without the pressure of on the spot or knee jerk reactions, which allowed me space to really intuitively feel what should come next. As of today I've canceled my shopify page, I am still bummed about losing my efforts but I can't see myself having a shop in the near future and I finally feel peace about letting that go. I expect other similar changes to come in these next few weeks and beyond.

It's truly a gift having the ability to pause and while there are certainly times in life where pausing is not an option, I do encourage you to try and find chances to put things on hold instead of forcing yourself into a decision that you may wish went a different way later on.

Ps - thank you for your kind words after my last two emails, you've really truly warmed my heart. I still owe you responses, but know that I see you, love you, and will connect so very soon. <3

This email was sent to subscribers on January 15, 2025.

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putting a pause on allthethings