From the Inbox: These are select letters I’ve sent to my email list — shared here as a slow-growing archive of thoughts, seasons, and transitions. If you would like to receive all future letters, join here.

Hello friend,

I'm writing this email from the past (again). Which honestly makes me happy because right now in my world it's March 3rd and I really just want this month to be over.

The astrology of this month is kind of a lot and I'm already feeling really heavy with emotions that I'm totally blaming on the cosmos.

I don't know how to succinctly tell you how I'm feeling. Because it's swirly and there's tons of layers to this cake. Though none of it feels sweet.

I cried so much this weekend. Reached the point where nothing felt like it was helping me. My favorite vlog? The one that usually makes me feel like YES THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE? I couldn't stand to watch it. I tried to catch up on the new season of Shrinking. I turned it off half way through the first episode. Put on Ted Lasso for a few episodes. Shut that off. Tried to read. Couldn't stand it. Journaled. Meditated. Nothing was really helping. Doom scrolling? Uninterested. Researching facts and figures, a thing that usually helps me feel like I have control? Garbage. I was not feeling any of it.

Originally I booked myself a hotel in Cambridge for the weekend. Since you know, that's where I've convinced myself I want to live. But now I'm not so sure. About the hotel stay and wanting to live there.

As of now I am considering cancelling that room. Today's the last day I have to decide if I'm going or not, if I want a refund. And if I'm paying, I'm definitely going. Even if I just spend 48 hours of uninterrupted crying in my wicked cute room. But also the logic side of my brain says I shouldn't be spending that money. But yet.

I really miss having my own space. Doing my own thing. I'm starting to spiral. Normally at this point I'd want to run away, but even that feels daunting. I don't want any of it. Literally what is happening???

I am so glad this email is gonna be so far in the future, because by then we'll have known what I got up to.

Here's some things I'd like to see happen this month, you can tell me how well I did them lol:

Me figure out my next life step – whether it's travel, moving into an apartment, getting my stuff out of storage in Portland…
Increase my income – it's March 3rd and I've already spent way too much of this month's income. A bonus client or two would help, I'm also considering launching a ½ day VA service for one-off clients that might need some assistance.
Snap the F out of this depressive funk. I hate feeling this way and I know there's the whole your energy attracts what you get thing, I'm not trying to be sad, I literally just can't not be right now.
Continue my delulu days. It's been more of a struggle lately. I try to access that version of me that feels it so effortlessly but when I'm sad it's just so freaking hard to do.
Have a hard date in mind of when I'm moving out of my parent's house. I have to go, friends.
If I can snap out of my depressive state, I want to get back to posting reels and content. If you see that I've done that this month, then know that I'm either feeling better or fighting so hard to just tap into that energy to make it happen.

Last time I emailed you I said I was going to tell you about the action steps I was taking towards my goals in hope that it would help you too, but we're going to pause that thought for a bit so I can get myself out of this funk first. I promise once I have a more clear answer – I'd love to share that with you.

Ps - I hope you're taking care of yourself this March. I know it's going to be extra swirly for a lot of us. Sending you all my love. <33

This email was sent to subscribers on March 26, 2025.

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March monologues