From the Inbox: These are select letters I’ve sent to my email list — shared here as a slow-growing archive of thoughts, seasons, and transitions. If you would like to receive all future letters, join here.

Hello friend,

So here's how it goes if you're a crazy person that says yes to something without thinking through all the logistics first (and are you this person?? how?? because I've never said yes so quickly without exhaustively researching everything first – and I have to tell you, I feel unhinged!)

First – say yes. You're wicked excited. Your nervous system is firing off all kinds of warning bells but you're actively working on regulating your nervous system so you ground in and feel okay.

Then you start to tell people your plan, they will either:
Freak the heck out (in a bad way)
Freak the heck out (in a good way)

Your nervous system will ride this rollercoaster of their feedback, up and down, slow climbs and unexpected drops.

Over the weeks you start to feel like this information is not that crazy, it's only 2.5 months – what's the big deal?

Then you'll tell those people you were avoiding telling for reasons and they will freak the heck out (in a very bad way) or they will freak the heck out (in a bad way but spin it so that they're happy for you even if it's not what they would choose to do, emphasis on the even if it's not what they would do part).

And then you start to feel exhausted. Maybe this was the wrong decision? What was I (clearly, NOT) thinking? What am I going to do in the meantime about xyz things?

I'm currently at the exhaustion part. I know it's because I'm about to head off to Portland to deal with that aspect of things, but some days my little self just wants to cry from the lack of support I feel.

But other days I send you an email and say Babe, wake up! I manifested a French Girl summer in France! and you send me the kindest, most excited emails back and I feel my nervous system shift back into that place of excitement, abundance, and joy.

The bigger message here is much like last week's where I asked who was living your life. It's all about who you surround yourself with. And I would say for every naysayer, surround yourself with 10 encouraging friends because that one negative seed will lodge itself into your psyche faster and deeper than all those positive ones. Over time, those negative seeds are going to steal your joy right away. Trust me, I know.

I spent the first half of my life surrounded by so much negativity that I couldn't help being cynical and pessimistic myself, even though I've always been sunshine, rainbows, and excitement. And I can promise you that my environment, relationships, circumstances were 500000% in direct relation to my attitude and outlook. As soon as those people started to fall away, I started to pivot, and I started to surround myself with others who were doing the things I wanted to do – it was a lot easier to be around those 15% that I couldn't just drop from my life.

And my life has radically changed. My stress levels and how I respond to stress has significantly improved since those days in my late teens/early 20s/30s. But if you're not careful the negativity can creep back in and threaten to pull you back to the dark side.

It's truly a reason I stepped back after following Hanson as much as I did on their last tour. I had the best time with my friends, but there were certain people and circumstances outside our inner circle that just sucked the life and joy right out of me. And I realized, this is a choice. I made a decision to follow this band, but I don't have to surround myself with this kind of chaos. I vowed to take a break and I have. I'm sure I'll find myself side by side with my besties at another show in the future but in the meantime I've chosen to live outside of that energy that made me feel so bad.

So let this be my / your / our reminder that if something is bringing you down, it's okay to take a step back from it. You might have to get creative on how you give yourself that space but if you can find a way to do so, it can really help.

For me another big thing that's helped is picking and choosing who I tell what to. I used to be an open book. I'd post all my excitement all over the internet. Well-meaning friends and family and old acquaintances from 10 years ago that I couldn't even remember where we knew each other from, would all have an opinion and often they were trying to squash my excitement by ‘just being honest’ when their honesty was really just their own fears and hesitations speaking on their behalf.

It's taken me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize how I need to not share things with most people. So now, I quietly tell people my updates. One at a time. Regulating it into my nervous system. And I hardly give Facebook any of my life. Now if I post there it's look at what I DID, instead of I'm so excited this is what I'm doing! And ohhhh the peace it's given me. Lately I've applied that same concept to Instagram. And most recently this email.

I'm not ashamed to say that I've had several family members sign up for this email list and I've removed them off. (With the exception of my favorite family member🤗). This is my safe space. This is the space I've created to share what's on my heart and I take protecting this bubble very seriously. If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to be authentic with you, I would probably outright stop sharing things, and then this would be another thing that fell to the wayside. And not for nothing but I love our space here. I've cultivated it in such a way that it feels personal and intimate. I want to keep that because I love connecting with you here so very much.

I've heard stories about people fully blocking everyone they know on social media in order to grow. There's really something to be said about how we hold ourselves back because of the fear / judgement / perception of a few people in our life. I'm currently manifesting that IG gets with the program and let's me block certain people there, too. Without fully blocking them. I'd just like to hide them from seeing my posts, or just some posts. Without removing the ability for them to interact with me in messages / stories. I'm not trying to cut them out of my life, just from engaging in certain places.

So there you have it. No judgement on my part, friends. You gotta do what you gotta do. If it's stopping you from living your best most authentic life, then it's gotta go.

PS - Next week I'm sharing my Portland update! I'm still here processing my feelings (in the past)!

This email was sent to subscribers on May 21, 2025.

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it’s you or them, but only one person can live your life